Category — Wtf?

Nine Reasons I Have Been On Hiatus, Possibly

1. I was adopted by Angelina and Brad
2. I joined a circus
3. I was in jail
4. I was stuck in New Jersey, which is worse than jail
5. I was in a coma
6. I have time management issues
7. I was busy fighting off a group of rogue ninjas
8. I am a pirate reserve, like the army reserve, and I was called to duty
9. I took a wrong turn

Nine Reasons Selling on eBay is a Pain in the Ass

1. Between eBay & PayPal, the fees really bend you over.
2. People will email you questions about your auction - for things that are already answered in the auction.
3. People will email you wanting measurements of clothing you are selling - even though you are only selling it for $0.99 and they could really just go to the store and try it on.
4. People will ask you to lower your shipping price because apparently they think things like tape and envelopes are free.
5. People will win your auction and send you a personal check in the mail - even though you clearly state you only take PayPal.
6. People will get their item and then file a claim on PayPal to get the money reversed. And PayPal practically NEVER takes your side.
7. People will win an auction and then email you to say they will pay on payday, which is next week.
8. eBay ends some auctions for stupid reasons like trying to circumvent fees if they deem your shipping cost too high.
9. They won’t let people selling smut accept PayPal. wtf?

Nine Reasons Spam Email is Awesome!

1. It makes me feel popular to see all those messages in my inbox.
2. Their messages make me feel like a spelling bee champ.
3. They are always trying to award me with large sums of money.
4. They are worried about my sex life and faulty man-parts.
5. They can be entertaining.
6. I learned about a relative I never knew, but thankfully he left me his fortune. All I have to do is wire some money to get that fortune released…
7. It makes me feel like someone is out there looking out for me and wanting what’s best for me - like an erection?
8. It gives me email address to add to my chain letter email list.
9. And the best reason is when you get emails like this one:

—–Original Message—–
From: Goodyear <mikroben1995@51sports.com.cn>
To: xxxxxxxxxx@aol.com
Sent: Thu, 17 Apr 2008 6:26 am
Subject: Upgrade your man-tool

My fearsome rod of pleasure tears down hymen like crazy. http://www.umbaghei.com/